Rebuilding

I spoke to Bob everyday after that miraculous phone call. It was the end of October and I had been planning a trip to Mexico with a mutual friend of ours from AA. Her father was producing a movie in Mexico and I had my tickets purchased to go with her there during the Thanksgiving Holiday.

The more I spoke with Bob, the more I missed him. I decided that Mexico could wait. I already had the time off from work and an airline ticket. I changed my plans. I flew to Kansas to see him.
I had an agenda. I was either going to never see him again or I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. Depending on that little voice in my head and the feeling in my gut.

The day I arrived in Kansas was a day I will never forget. I got off the plane and walked into this small terminal and there was the most handsome face I had ever seen. The face of the man I adored. I ran to him. It really was a scene out of a movie.
There we were, movie star gorgeous, the both of us looking so L.A. for being out in Kansas. People were starring at us and we didn't see them. It was quite a re-union. The last time I saw him I was giving him back his diamond engagement ring he had given me and he was in terrible shape that day. I thought I would never see him again that day and here he was.

I had a purple fringed jacket on and he had a plaid shirt on. He didn't even have a leather jacket left to his name. There was something really different about him a serenity that I had never seen in him before. He was calm, quiet and at peace in his own skin. I don't know any other way to describe him. I liked the new improved Bob. I hadn't felt safe or calm in his presence for many years. I was always walking on egg shells around him. Even when he was "Dry" he was never "Sober". I didn't know him sober it was like someone else had invaded his body. I liked this feeling of security. I was home. I was where I was meant to be. I saw all my hopes and dreams in his eyes. My agenda was confirmed. I was not going to let him go again.

We got my luggage and drove to his apartment. On the way there he told me about the court case he had gone thru. The judge was so impressed with his progress he suspended his sentence. Bob was a free man. He had been doing some "Pro- Bono" work for the Legal Aid offices during the day and at night he was the "Prop Master" at a local Play House. He was going to noon meetings and keeping in contact with his doctor. I had not seen a productive Bob the entire five years before this. To say I was impressed was an understatement.

Bob decided to take me to Kansas City for the weekend. There was a Hyatt Hotel that had collapsed several years back and now it was rebuilt and the rooms were beyond cheap. They couldn't give them away. So for $35 a night we got a great room. We hopped on a Grey Hound Bus the next morning and headed for Kansas City. Neither of us had ever been there before so we were excited.

We walked around town, had a great Italian Dinner, went out to a night club, which did make me uncomfortable, but I didn't tell him and I was glad I didn't because we ended up having an amazing night.
He told me that the Hospital Doctor told him if he went back to Los Angeles to live he would more than likely relapse and die. They had diagnosed him with the beginning of "Wet Brain" He had done so much heavy drinking he had caused severe damage to his brain. The other part of his brain would compensate for the damaged part but it would never regenerate. Bob was 33 years old and he had caused major damage to himself.

"Wet Brain" is the condition that many skid row drunks have. You see them walking funny and talking to themselves not to mention severe memory loss. Something that would affect him the rest of his life. This condition was one of the conditions which helped to put a damper on his relationship with his daughter. She always thought he didn't pay any attention to her when she talked to him, the truth was he had a really severe case of short term memory loss. A condition we confirmed by a specialist in Beverly Hills when he started getting bad headaches years later.

He was determined to keep this condition from his daughter and his family. They never really discussed it. Many years later I told his daughter about his condition trying to let her know it wasn't her, he just couldn't help it. It was a permanent condition caused by abuse.

I fell in love all over again that night. The time we spent together just flew by. I didn't want it to ever end. I was HAPPY something I hadn't been for a long time.

For many years Bob had asked me to marry him, and my answer was always the same. "SOMEDAY" it was all I could ever say. I was never in the frame of mind to accept his proposal so he just stopped asking me. Even thou we had been engaged, it was more of a commitment to not see other people than to get married. He was never in the condition to get married and I wasn't that crazy to marry someone who could be such a Jeykle and Hyde personality at any given moment.

All I wanted to do was just enjoy our brief time together and not worry about anything. That was until we went up to our room and watched the Movie that forever changed our lives.