What is it that makes me want to avoid writing the rest of my story some days. I will write things on my myspace blog? I guess that this is a painful journey some days and this month is extremely difficult.
I will be going to court to finalize a bogus divorce proceeding. What I mean by that is this. The court needs me to once again, verify that I have indeed given up my debtor's claim against the estate of my former husband. And yes the answer is I did drop my claim against the estate.
I did it because I will not waste any more money fighting a battle that should have never been fought in the first place. If the executor has no conscience about leaving me with all the debt of putting her and my son through school so be it. The entire family knows that I didn't spend all the debt of frivolous things.But all I get from the family these days is Silence. We helped but her through Stanford, helped with her living expenses while in New York and at Johns Hopkins even when her father was not legally obligated to do so any longer. And believe me there were times when he had to think twice because she was so cruel to him. But even after she called me and her friends wishing him dead he simply could not cut her off financially.
The other really difficult event is that it is Bob's birthday at the end of that same week, so it is with a very heavy heart that I finalize that chapter of my life. My former husband would have never argued the fact that for years he kept refinancing our home to give the two kids a great college education and the rest went to pay taxes most of the time. He would tell me that it was his job to worry about money and my job to basically do everything else around the house. So I did.
The other really difficult event is that it is Bob's birthday at the end of that same week, so it is with a very heavy heart that I finalize that chapter of my life. My former husband would have never argued the fact that for years he kept refinancing our home to give the two kids a great college education and the rest went to pay taxes most of the time. He would tell me that it was his job to worry about money and my job to basically do everything else around the house. So I did.
And in the end after the marriage had ended, Bob started a new business and he refinanced our house again and when he found himself in trouble with the law, he refinanced it once again to purchase a home. What was once a home purchased for $725,000 in the end ballooned up to over $1,400.000. That is the simple fact of Bob's way of supporting his family, and no one wants to address who is responsible for that debt.
The Estate had no difficulty establishing that I was not entitled to any of Bob's inheritance, why am I entitled to carry the burden of the debt?
Once could argue that I have the option of selling the home. Of course I do, but I will not, because my son's father gave him half of the house and I will not loose it for him. As my father Saul would have said, "It is his Life Insurance Policy". I couldn't agree more. When my time on this earth are done, I will leave my son more than he could have imagined. It is my duty to the only male grandchild of my hero. He will carry on the name and the dignity of his Grandfather.
In my opinion there is no justice when a wife of almost twenty years now has a title of debtor attached to her claim. Just because a person passed away, did all my rights as his wife vanish before my very eyes. In my case Yes. It seems an executor can pretty much disclaim a debt at their discretion with the help of an attorney. His daughter had no interest in paying off his debt and I had no interest in paying an attorney for the privilege of lessening the remainder of what was left after the government gets their part because my X simply did not bother to put everything in Trust. The executor has spent more money than I did securaing this final divorce, isn't that incredible. And she really didn't want to honor the agreement I had with her dad, that he would cover the cost of the divorce, after all it was his and his girlfriends idea to file for it in the first place. It was the least he could do. So that's that.
The Estate had no difficulty establishing that I was not entitled to any of Bob's inheritance, why am I entitled to carry the burden of the debt?
Once could argue that I have the option of selling the home. Of course I do, but I will not, because my son's father gave him half of the house and I will not loose it for him. As my father Saul would have said, "It is his Life Insurance Policy". I couldn't agree more. When my time on this earth are done, I will leave my son more than he could have imagined. It is my duty to the only male grandchild of my hero. He will carry on the name and the dignity of his Grandfather.
In my opinion there is no justice when a wife of almost twenty years now has a title of debtor attached to her claim. Just because a person passed away, did all my rights as his wife vanish before my very eyes. In my case Yes. It seems an executor can pretty much disclaim a debt at their discretion with the help of an attorney. His daughter had no interest in paying off his debt and I had no interest in paying an attorney for the privilege of lessening the remainder of what was left after the government gets their part because my X simply did not bother to put everything in Trust. The executor has spent more money than I did securaing this final divorce, isn't that incredible. And she really didn't want to honor the agreement I had with her dad, that he would cover the cost of the divorce, after all it was his and his girlfriends idea to file for it in the first place. It was the least he could do. So that's that.
I didn't marry him for money and I guess I don't see the need to squander money to do the right thing.
I will find a way to keep the house for our son and I still feel grateful for my life.
Money doesn't always make a person happy and it remains to be seen how much of what is being given to his daughter will grow into a future for her as she dreamed. Her lifestyle is too expensive. A Beverly Hills girl trying to live the life of her Mom. Expensive vacations she has been to Europe three times already since her father passed away and may even be there as I write this because it is her three year wedding anniversary. She loves expensive dinners, shoes,clothes etc. I used to get annoyed with her because everything she ever bought had to have a designer label attached to it. The only thing that may save her is her wonderful husband who happens to be from the Midwest. Time will tell, the poor guy is working his butt off to keep up with the Jones's over there.
Unfortunately for her, if she ever does have any children of her own, I will not be there to help her with any of the stuff that I would have. Let her other family do that, but that's also questionable, because even she would say that her father and I got her everything she really wanted, her Mom got her the necessities. PJ's, underwear and things.
Now that I have gotten that off my chest, perhaps I can get back to my story.
