Another Year and Still I can't write my story

Well here I am at the end of January 2011 and I still can't seem to motivate myself to start writing about my story.
Maybe it's a sign that I'm too busy living to revisit my past in chronological order who knows, all I know is that I have other things on my mind. So instead of blocking myself thinking I have to pick up where I left off, I will now approach this blog as it is and leave the time line to the editing process, or I may never put another word down again.

The end of 2010 was a combination of finally moving back into my loft after leasing out the Malibu house in September and being totally busy trying to get my life back in order.
So much to do in my own life and then having to watch my son go thru his emotional ups and downs and not being able to really do anything about it.

2010 finally brought a beginning of the end of Matt's relationship, I use the word beginning because quite frankly it's not over till it's over. I'm just praying at some point they both just realize that it's never going to work and avoid hurting each other by giving into what Katie wants more than anything. A marriage. In my opinion at this point she would marry anyone and I think she will not marry for love but for the dream of being married and not having to deal with taking care of herself.
Matt said she doesn't want to be a housewife and I couldn't agree more. She doesn't have a clue what being married is all about and being a housewife is what being a married woman is ultimately in the end. If I were to decode the term housewife in her mind, it means she has no intention of cleaning, cooking, taking care of anything that women do when they marry. She wants a cleaning lady she told me once. WOW I give her more credit than they both know. He always tells me she's smart and I have to agree, she's going thru the motions of getting a degree in Grad school so she doesn't have to find a job that can keep her above the poverty line. Now that's smart. She's hoping someone will feel sorry for her. She's already manipulated a $10,000 check out of him, because they were almost like "Common Law Husband & Wife" REALLY????

He moved her out over 2 years ago and she never quite got it thru her head to actually leave permanently. Just about one year ago this coming week we had our last major fight over her lack of manners. She is the most socially inept young woman I have ever run into. If I was the only one who thought that I would say it's me, but there isn't a person I know that has ever been able to figure out what the hell Matt see's in her. I don't think I know anyone who walks around and reeks of unhappiness they way she does. In fact she was still blaming her father for all her unhappiness as of just a few months ago until she got to see her mother in a whole new light when she started speaking to her father after almost 5 years.

I told Matt he was dating his sister and his father and by that I meant, like his sister she hates her father and like his father she is only happy when she's drunk. I didn't know until a few weeks ago that some of her anti-social behavior was because she was high on weed. I really could care less except for the fact that even on weed she's miserable. So what's the point of getting high if you can't even be happy then.

Two weeks ago she crept back into his life for two days. That's how she does it. She needs something. This time she needed to use his kitchen to bake some cupcake pops. No problem if she cleaned everything up when she was finished, but NO in classic Katie fashion she left a bit of a trail. Dirty batter bowl in the sink, foil, plastic wrap, and an empty paper towel holder all there on the counter. Now to some people my reaction to this could be perceived as an over reaction, but I lost it.

It was Wednesday morning and I went over as I have been doing for the past 6 months to make Matt a shake before his workout. I had left his loft Sunday at 1:30am after helping him clean up after his friends drunken puke fest. So when I saw the little mess, I snapped because quite frankly I am not her maid or his for that matter. I will not go back to that time in my life where I needed to do things to be loved. I help Matt because I want to. The minute I feel taken advantage of, it's over.

He was shocked by my attitude and asked me to leave and took his parking pass back. I had to laugh because that's what caused the initial rift between Katie and me. Although she didn't live there she needed the parking even thou Matt had moved me into his place to sleep on his sofa when I no longer could afford to run the water or pay the utilities in Malibu. The shocking thing to me is that he doesn't see her for what she is. I believe she would like nothing more than to see us not speak to each other like she does to her father. Unfortunately for her, I'm not going any where soon.

When he told me that he's still seeing her I told him flat out he's going to have a lot of trouble because she hates me. I will always be the Elephant in the room. We both agreed it's a problem. We can never go back to a time or place where we can pretend any longer that we can even tolerate one another. I tried the offering the olive branch for his sake at Thanksgiving and she refused to come over. I bought her a gift for Xmas and until today I have not gotten any sort of acknowledgment from her to whether she liked it or not.
So there will be no happy ending for this little family. I can't wait to see how the coming year goes for them.

Matt only wants her now because she is or was seeing someone else. It's his ego. Most men are that predictable I think.

So I face the coming year with the jury trial in April and Matt being in the musicale RENT. Drama and Drama:)