PARIS

What can I say about Paris, Bob and I were thrilled to be going. I had booked first class seats on the Chunned from London to Paris. The three of us were excited, Marisa was being her moody self.

Once we got our seats in the first class coach we were excited about our trip under the English Channel to get to Paris. That was a remarkable experience especially for Matt. He was loving this trip, Marisa was just plain bored. She didn't enjoy the lunch that was served to begin with. Hell what was not to enjoy? We were served lunch with fine china, silver and table linens. She "Wasn't Hungry" again.

I will never understand how stupid I was to believe that Marisa would even begin to actually forgive her Dad for his relapse back into drinking.
I guess Matt and I were already sort of over the shock of it, and more than willing to try and regain our once extremely happy home life.
I failed to take into consideration that Marisa did not have much to get back to. She rarely came over and she was getting just what she wanted. Us to get her and her overweight suitcases back to the States.

I started to get that little knot in the pit of my stomach. Bob and his daughter, Oil and Water. The tension was mounting between them.

The Chunnel trip was over and now we had to get a taxi to our hotel. I booked two connecting rooms at the "Inter Continental Hotel". The location was perfect. Near the Louve to begin with and all the places we wanted to see.
Bob had not been back to France since he was studing there in collage. He was excited to go exploring.

But first we needed to get our Rooms. If you have ever been to France you know that the experience can be very bad. Our connecting rooms were not, connecting, and Bob really started to loose it. He did not want the kids down the hall from us and we had to argue with the check in clerk to get our pre-booked rooms.
Tempers were starting to fray and just when I thought Bob was going to really loose it, a miricle happened. Sitting in the lobby of the Hotel was a very good friend of his from AA and her mother.

I don't think I was ever happier to see anyone from the program as I was to see her that day. We went over and talked to her for a while and she told us where there was a meeting near the Hotel. Of course Bob had no intention of attending a meeting while on this trip. He didn't tell her that but I'm sure she knew by his lack of enthusiasm.
Before we went up to our rooms, she made sure that she let us know what room she was in, just in case Bob needed her for "anything to do with his program>"
She had heard him share about how devastated I was and his family was by his slip.
He had lost his fourteen years of not drinking and we were all still numb with fear and disbelief.

After unpacking Bob and I decided to let the two kids explore on their own. He needed to chill out from the bad vibes he was getting, and Marisa just wanted to avoid him at all costs.

I am grateful for those few hours. It was romantic and I was really happy. All seemed to be forgotten, almost like we were heading into a second honeymoon so to speak.
We walked all over town, went and had the most amazing pastries and coffee and window shopped. Just looking and not shopping was totally fun.
We went back to our Hotel to get ready for our first dinner in Paris.

Matt and Marisa had explored Paris their way. I think they went to "Tuillery" gardens. There was a carnival and they had fun together. They rarely spend any time alone ever, so this was really a good thing for them to bond.
Matt of course was as excited about the programs on French TV as he was with any of the historical monuments.
TV over in France is nothing like he had ever seen. We just let him watch whatever.
It was four in the afternoon, how bad could it be? Marisa was appalled that we would let him watch it.
She seemed to be uptight about it. Hell, our philosophy was, when in Rome. Matt was having a "Real" French experience. I saw no harm in that. After all, it is the culture.

We found a very nice restaurant that we could walk to for dinner, so we all dressed nicely and walked over and we were not disappointed.
I can still see the quaint two story restaurant in my mind. We all of course visited the second story restrooms not only because we needed to, but because it was a perfect chance to explore the place.

I don't remember dinner being tense, but looking back at the walk home, I should have sensed trouble was brewing.

When we got back to the Hotel, Matt and Marisa went into their room and we went to ours. Even though they were connected we didn't all hang out. Matt came in for a while to see what we were doing and then went back to his room to watch TV with his sister.
Bob and I were just really getting over our jet lag and I was so happy to just call it a day. I got under the covers and closed my eyes, Bob read his book.
There was nothing in the air that night that could have prepared me for what lay ahead.

I was abruptly awakened at nine am the next moring, by a very angry Bob. He was yelling at me to get up because he didn't bring us all the way to Europe to sleep the day away.

That was the first sign that we were really in deep emotional trouble. I was stunned, first of all in all the years that I knew him, he was the one who never liked to get up early and nine am isn't exactly wasting the day. I asked him what the hell was wrong.

It was then that he went to the mini bar, picked up two mini bottles of Vodka and started waving them at me, threatening to drink them. I guess we were loud enough that Marisa came in to the room and asked us what the hell was going on.
By this time, I was more than angry.
I told her that her father was threatening to take a drink.

In our world that was the equivalent of suiside. It was not an idle threat. It sent terror into every pour of my body. It must have affected Marisa the same way.

She wasn't preparred for his totally uncalled for reaction. He started to yell at her. I can't really remember what was going on. I wasn't even fully awake when it all started.

All I know is that before things could get worked out, Marisa started screaming at him at the top of her lungs.

She was telling him how much she hated him and that he was just a "sick alcoholic"
She then threatened to jump off the balconey and kill herself.

By this time Matt was in the room. We had never had a "Family" meltdown ever.
First of all I think we were all stunned by the words comming out of both of them.
It was pretty apparent to me, just how much resentment each of them had for each other.

I had to step in and do something to calm them both down. I begged Bob to calm down and call his friend at the hotel and to make a call to his sponsor back in LA.

He actually did both. By the time I got to see how Marisa was doing she informed me that she was in the process of booking a flight out of Paris for the Three of us.

The three of Us? I asked her what she was doing? Did she know that if we left Bob in Paris, we would never see him alive again? It was a death sentence for him.
The one thing I did know about him to the core of my soul was that when he calmed down he would be more than remorsefull.

We decided that I would just go to the Louve with Matt and her father so that she could calm down and perhaps we could just get over it.
That's what I always tried to do. Get over it.
Marisa was a different story. She wasn't used to walking around on egg-shells to calm him down, she didn't want anything to do with the situation.
Matt and I took Bob to the Museum. Of course I look back at this with a bit of humor.
Bob was so far gone at this point, there was no calming him down. He was pacing around the court yard of the Louve smoking and Matt was just taking pictures of him lost in the angry thoughts of his head.
Years later Matt and I would remember with humor how we had an amazing real French Experience and laugh.
Bob always told us about this French man in AA who would go to meetings and tell everyone how "He hated his life and how he hated AA and all of "You" as he referred to people in meetings.

Well, here we were in Paris, his father and sister were behaving just like the "Comedy Improv" skits that Bob would perform for Matt. It was more than surreal.

I'm sure that Bob never remembered one thing about the "Louve" he was busy talking to himself and chain smoking.
I was busy wondering how I was going to get out of Paris without Bob picking up a drink. He was on a terrible "Dry Drunk". The fight with his daughter almost sealed the deal.

That's the first thing he always did before picking up that first drink. Start a big fight. The only thing I was grateful for was that he was more angry at his daughter than me and I was able to try and calm him down.

When we got back to the Hotel Marisa told me to pack because the three of us had a flight back to England.

I was stunned. I couldn't imagine how cruel that would have been. I told her she better rethink her plans, because if she went ahead with her plan, she would never see him again.
I asked her to reconsider and calm down. We were supposed to leave for Spain the next morning. I told her we either all go to Spain or we all go back home but we were not leaving her dad behind.

She looked at me and said the trip was over, she wanted to go home.

I don't even remember if she booked the flights and a hotel room at the airport in England or if I did.
My only concern was to not let her father out of my sight for one minute. He never needed a friend more than he did at that moment. His sobriety was hanging by a thread.
That may sound so dramatic, but it wasn't. All he wanted to do was pick up a drink and die.

If you believe in a higher power than the rest of this story should not surprize you.

We arrived at Heathrow got a room and I immediatley went down to the front desk and asked if there was an AA meeting anyplace near by.
They could not have been kinder to me. Not only did they tell us where there was a meeting, they booked us a car to get there.

I was so grateful that Bob was even willing at this point. Matt and Marisa were in a room by themselves all the better at this point.
I went to their room and explained to Matt and Marisa that I had to take their dad to a meeting and that they should just get anything they wanted from room service or whatever. I had no idea how long we would be gone.

They were both happy that there would be no more drama that day.

We left the hotel and went to seek help because I don't think in many years Bob had ever needed help more than he did at that moment.
He told me he just didn't know how he had managed to make it that far and he told me he did not think he could make it home without a drink.
I was very kind to him and I told him to just do it a minute at a time like they say in those meetings. He said he couldn't even promise me that but he was willing to get in the car and be driven to a meeting out in the middle of nowhere.
We were both desperate for a miricle.